Marriage

Become one flesh
The next principle from Genesis 2 says that a husband and wife shall become one flesh; that is, to enjoy an intimate sexual relationship with one another (verse 24; compare 1 Corinthians 6:16).

The steps that lead to a loving sexual relationship are vital to a successful marriage. While God wants those planning to marry to develop a deep and lasting friendship, He also teaches us that we should not indulge in sex until after the marriage ceremony. Regrettably, many people today fail to follow God's instructions in this matter. "Dating" someone now has often come to mean sleeping with him or her.

In Western societies the majority of young adults of both sexes engage in sexual intercourse before marriage. They take the supposedly enlightened view that sex is not part of a sacred, loving relationship but simply a biological function to be indulged in whenever both parties want. Many couples believe they should do this before marriage to know whether they are "sexually compatible," thinking this will improve the odds of their marriage succeeding.

However, studies have conclusively shown that when people live together and have sex before marriage, this action increases the likelihood that when they do get married, their marriage will fail.

God intended sex to be part of the marriage relationship and that it not take place outside of marriage. Only in the married state does God permit sexual relations (Hebrews 13:4; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, 18; 7:2-5). His instructions for us to refrain from any kind of sexual activity before or outside of marriage are safeguards for the marriage relationship.

God intended sex to be an intimate experience that binds a husband and wife together. In marriage it certainly is, and following these instructions helps marriages survive and flourish.

But disregarding God's instruction carries a price. As we'll see in the next chapter, engaging in this intimate act with multiple partners before marriage dramatically lessens one's ability to form that kind of close and lasting bond after marriage. Since so many men and women engage in sex before marriage, it's no wonder so many find it difficult to build and maintain that kind of closeness after marriage.
Also, since about a third of married men and a fourth of married women in the United States admit to having indulged in adulterous affairs, we shouldn't be surprised that approximately half of American marriages end in divorce. These are all part of the vicious and destructive cycle that ensues when we ignore God's direction regarding sex and marriage.

The way to reverse the trend of broken marriages and safeguard one's own relationship is simple: Accept and practice God's instruction to restrict sex to marriage. Such an approach shows honor and respect for the sexuality God has given us.

In this approach, sex is not cheapened or lowered to a common animal behavior. Instead it is an honorable act reserved for the most intimate human relationship of all, entered into with the most honorable intentions.